Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.
LeFors: It is illegal to take more than three swallows of beer while standing.
Lubbock County: It is illegal to drive within an arm's length of alcohol - including alcohol in someone else's blood stream.
Mesquite: It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
Port Arthur: Obnoxious odors may not be emitted while in an elevator.
Texas : You can be legally married by publically introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
Utah: It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you just can't detonate them.
Logan: Women may not swear.
Salt Lake City: No one may walk down the street carrying a paper bag containing a violin.
Blythe: You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
California: Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
Chico: Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.
Los Angeles: It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent. It is illegal to cry on the witness stand. It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.
San Francisco: Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash. It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear. Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street. It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner. Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
Prunedale: Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
Alaska: While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
Arizona: Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. You may not have more than two dildos in a house.
Maricopa County: No more than six girls may live in any house.
Tucson: Women may not wear pants.
Tombstone: It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.